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A simple friend identifies himself when he calls. A real friend doesn't have to. --*-- A simple friend opens a conversation with a full news bulletin on his life. A real friend says, "What's new with you?" --*-- A simple friend has never seen you cry. A real friend has shoulders soggy from your tears. --*-- A simple friend doesn't know your parents' first names. A real friend has their phone numbers in his address book. --*-- A simple friend brings a bottle of wine to your party. A real friend comes early to help you cook and stays late to help you clean. --*-- A simple friend hates it when you call after he has gone to bed. A real friend asks you why you took so long to call. --*-- A simple friend seeks to talk with you about your problems. A real friend seeks to help you with your problems. --*-- A simple friend wonders about your romantic history. A real friend could blackmail you with it. --*-- A simple friend, when visiting, acts like a guest. A real friend opens your refrigerator and helps himself. --*-- A simple friend thinks the friendship is over when you have an argument. A real friend knows that it's not a friendship until after you've had a fight. --*-- A simple friend expects you to always be there for them. A real friend expects to always be there for you.