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Collection Of Windows Jokes - Songs

  1.  Won't Boot Anymore
  2. I went ahead
    and crashed my Windows
    That's not too bad
    but this one thing does it not do
    It won't boot anymore
    
    Seems like it's time
    to reinstall it
    Not that I'd mind
    if then once more its work it'd do
    But it won't boot anymore
    
     Wouldn't it be good if I could get myself a Macintosh
     Say goodbye ninety-five
     Well so much for pretending
     Cause this crap's never-ending
     And I know that
    
    I'm buying updates
    but I can't help it
    With each thing new
    another's failing and now
    It won't boot anymore
    
    Well
    Got an Atari
    It makes no problems
    It's running fine
    not like this piece of shit of mine
    Which won't boot anymore
    
     Wouldn't it be good if I could get myself a Be OS
     Say goodbye ninety-five
     Well so much for pretending
     Cause this crap's neverending
     It's neverending...
    
    Well
    It could be worse
    I could have data losses
    But still it hurts
    when I want to do something but now
    It won't boot anymore
    
     Wouldn't it be nice if I could sing myself a Rhapsody,
     "Goodbye Ninety-Five"
     Well so much for pretending
     Cause this crap's neverending
     And all this time I'll be standing
     Thinking the next release is going to fix this bug and mend it
    
    It won't boot anymore...
  3. Windows 95
  4. You had something to save
    You should have backed it up shouldn't you?
    Now your OS misbehaved
    You could be fired now couldn't you?
    
      It's now time to pay the price
      For not listening to advice
      And trying to get by
        using Windows 95
    
    It used to be so easy now
    Until this crash reminded you
    Now you'll have to tell them how
    Those fancy gadgets blinded you
    
      It's too late to change events
      It's time to face the consequence
      For deciding to be bright
        and use Windows 95
    
      Never, you said, could you go wrong with 3.1
      Never, you said, could you go wrong with 3.1
    
    Now you're standing there disc gone
    You'd better learn your lesson well
    Get a JAZ drive before long
    Or an OS not from hell
    
      You'll see your problems multiply
      If you continually decide
      To never say goodbye
        to your Windows 95
    
      Never, you said, could you go wrong with 3.1
      Never, you said, could you go wrong with 3.1
  5. Running Windows
  6. Well I boot this machine running Windows
    And God knows just how long it will take
    Though I never believed in a God yet
    And if I did this machine He'd forsake
    
      I had three crashes and a blue screen yesterday
      And since last Friday all the mail has stayed away
      It's life as usual but I can't help wonder why
      For alternatives we do not even try
    
    Instead I try to make do running Windows
    And yes I can, more or less, most of times
    I have learned to avoid many problems
    But I'll be damned if I'll call it alright
    
      My OP list has a length nobody knows
      I know that bug is there, but where I can't disclose
      There ain't much future without switching to NT
      But I've got users in Heilbronn who count on me
    
    So if you see my machine running Windows
    On the 'Net searching drivers or games
    Don't winnuke it and tell me, 'Use Linux!'
    Man I'd love to but I can't escape
    
    (yay-ho...)
    
    And now I fight my machine running Windows
    Every day, every night of the year
    And I miss that ten-year-old Atari
    Cause it never unnerved me like here
    
      I must close now, there is work left to be done
      And though programming used to be a lot of fun
      It now is tedious, that's the price I have to pay
      For being a programmer in 1998
    
    (yay-yay-yay-ho...)
  7. Gadgetry
  8. I'm sitting here in a boring room
    Where everything runs Windoze and not even Doom
    I'm wasting my time I got nothing to do
    Cause each time I try I have to reboot
    And each machine that crashes
    Makes me wonder
    
    I'm sitting here I miss the power
    Well there's a hundred Mips inside that tower
    But there's a heavy system overhead
    It's doing no work but swapping instead
    And each time that it's hanging
    Well I wonder
    
      I wonder how, I wonder why
      Everything is different and the papers fly
      And all that I can see
      Is just this stupid gadgetry
    
      I point and click, it makes a sound
      I think it's quite okay but then it crashes down
      And booting up I see
      The DOS beneath the gadgetry
    
    I'm not quite the one to criticize
    After all I'm just one of these other guys
    Who can't escape the Gates of Hell
    When all I really want is a command line shell
    There's animated icons
    And I wonder
    
      Resignation
      Is what I really fear
      Fascination
      Is what I want instead of gadgetry
    
    Life could be fulfilled with joy
    If there was a way that I could trash this toy
    And get a real computer
    Well I wonder
    
      I wonder how, I wonder why
      They got so big and ugly while nobody tries
      To give us what we need
      Instead of fancy gadgetry
    
      A crash an hour seems normal here
      But everyone accepts it due to stupid fear
      Of systems that don't need
      That never-ending gadgetry
  9. NT
  10. Atari's gone across the Hades
    Leaving just a memory
    Of systems working without hard disk
    And multitasking within one MB
    
    Jack, why'd you take the dough and flee?
    
      All that's now left to see is the pain named NT
      All that's now left to see is the pain named NT
    
    We don't need no System.Ini
    We don't need no Registry
    No animations and no Wizards
    Hello Billy, won't you leave us be?
    
    Bill, go away and leave us be
    
      The one thing I'll never buy is the pain named NT
      The one thing I'll never try is the pain named NT
    
    I don't need no Sun to warm me
    I don't need no Mac to calm me
    My NeXT computer won't be a PC
    After all there's still a place to Be!
    
      And what I'll never feel is the pain named NT
      And what I'll never know is the pain named NT
To be continued...